Weekly Post: The Unicorn Whisperer

Hello again friends!

Happy Monday to you!

Ha.  Ha.  Ha.  Good one.
No really, with these guys: Blimey Cow, it's actually a fantastic Monday morning :)  Seriously, you should check them out.  The unicorns love them.  I just had to ground a few from watching them last week.
Which reminds me to remind you (er... inform you...) of why I am starting this weekly post called the Unicorn Whisperer.  (I considered calling it "It's Me or the Unicorn" but "the" unicorn sounds a little offensive.  I don't want to be stepping on any hooves here... after all, there are 12 million of them.  Hooves that is.  Cuz we have three million unicorns... and they each have four hooves... and 3 million times 4 equals... nevermind...)

All of us who own, work with, or have experience with unicorns know that although they are fantastic creatures, fiercely loyal to their owners, kind-hearted, gentle, and great companions, there are often behavioral issues that are necessary to deal with while training your young unicorn so that he or she will grow into your lifelong best bud.  Although behavior issues are not the only thing I plan to post here, it is one of the most important, so that's what we're talking about today.

And we're going to begin with the basics.

The first step to training your unicorn is...........................................
UNDERSTANDING YOUR UNICORN.

If you see your unicorn as this

 

Or this

Or even... deep breath... this

 (If you see your unicorn as this, I'm not sure why it hasn't impaled you yet... I suppose that's the "fiercely loyal" quality... but seriously, show your poor unicorn some RESPECT, people... geesh)

then you have some serious problems understanding your unicorn companion (especially the third one...)  But if you are a truly dedicated owner and really care about properly training your unicorn, you must first seek to properly understand him.  So, for today, I'm going to give you a list of things that unicorns are.

1. Unicorns are noble.  What with their long, flowing, silvery (or rainbow-y) manes, musical neighs, and "I'm-so-much-more-graceful-than-you'll-ever-be" flying skills, it should be pretty obvious.  If not, you need glasses.  
2. Unicorns are strong.  Seriously.  These guys can lift up to 25 times their body weight.  Like, WOAH.
3. Unicorns are majestic.  I mean, just look at this
   
4.  Unicorns are loyal.  Picture number three people prove my point.
5. Unicorns are very forgiving.  /\
6. Unicorns are gentle.  I mean, just look at this one giving this little girl a ride.  Probably on her birthday.  Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww :)
   
7. Unicorns LOVE hugs. 

So now, with that knowledge, I encourage you to devote time each week to spending with your unicorn.  Get to know his or her personality.  Does he have a great sense of humor?  Is escargot her favorite treat?  Doing so will not only improve your friendship, but also make you better prepared to begin training.

Next week we will talk about typical unicorn behaviors and forms of communication.  (And it will be shorter... don't worry)

Peace, love, and unicorns,
~Msbreathany, THE UNICORN WHISPERER